Well here are a few simple admonitions for young and old
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Never interfere in a boy-and-girl fight
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Beware of whores who say they don't want money
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The hell they don't
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What they mean is they want more money much more
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If you are doing business with a religious son-of-a-bitch
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Get it in writing
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His word isn't worth shit
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Not with the good Lord telling him how to f*ck you on the deal
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Words of advice for young people
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If after having been exposed to someone's presence
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You feel as if you've lost a quart of plasma
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Avoid that presence
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You need it like you need pernicious anemia
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Don't like to hear the word vampire around here
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Trying to improve our public image
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Build up a kindly, avuncular, benevolent image
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Interdependence is the key word
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Enlightened interdependence
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Life in all it's rich variety
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Take a little, leave a little
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However, by the inexorable logistics of the vampiric pyrosis
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They always take more than they need
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Now some of you may encounter the Devil's Bargain
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If you get that far
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Any old soul is worth saving
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At least to a priest
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But not every soul is worth buying
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So you can take the offer as a compliment
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They tries the easy ones first
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You know like money
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All the money there is
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Yeah, but who wants to be the richest guy in some cemetery?
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Money won't buy
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Not much left to spend it on, eh gramps?
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Getting too old to cut the mustard
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Well time hits the hardest blows
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Especially below the belt
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How's a young body grab you?
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Like three card monte, like pea under the shell
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Now you see it, now you don't
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Haven't you forgotten something, gramps?
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In order to feel something
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You have to be there
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You have to be eighteen
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And you're not eighteen
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You are seventy-eight
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Old fool sold his soul for a strap-on
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Words of advice for young people
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