Victor / Victoria Lyrics
King's Dilemma Lyrics
I'm gonna have dinner with her, with him, tonight.
So, what's the big deal? It's not a big deal, all right? All right!
So why am I shy as a spotty-faced kid in a high-school prom?
Why? I'll tell you why...It's because I don't know
Where this crazy dame, this Victor guy, whoever he is, is coming from,
I am a guy who knows himself, so I really don't give a damn!
I never could be in love with a man, but what if I am?
I mean, me? Ha! Gay? Ha!
If I know that I'm not, what's the problem I've got?
And why do I feel this way?
The only logical answer is...that he's a dame!
I know that I'm right.
I can tell from the way that I feel. Yeah!
So maybe the way to play it is to go along with the game.
If for some dumb reason I'm wrong,
Is it such a big deal?
[He thinks about it.] Yeah!
I've never been wrong about dames, not once in my life.
If I had been, you can bet I'd be stuck with a wife.
But not me, not King!
My life has been one sweet perpetual fling.
I've played so many games,
Fanned the flames with loads a dames.
And I've landed the blame for each dame who claims I've tricked her.
But now at last I'm in love ...
Maybe I should see a doctor,
Or concoct a cockamamie tale to get me out of town.
Maybe take a long vacation with some appetizing chick
To lift me up when I am down.
Or maybe I should face the music,
Give up dames like Mame an' Margo;
Take on board this strange new cargo.
Did Othello fancy Iago?
I'll take Victor to Chicago, and we'll see what happens then,
When I'm out with him at eight or ten
Of the world's no question,
Most obnoxious man, ha, ha, ha!
"I'd like you to meet my beautiful boy-friend Victor."
How will it sound, down at the stadium?
How will it look, out of the race-track?
I can just see, out of the ballpark Tony Palermo give the eye
When I waltz in with a guy!
Of all God's gorgeous creatures who play tag with my libido,
I have to pick the queen of drag, who dresses in a tuxedo!
"I'd like you to meet my lover: not Norma, Victor!"
What would they think, out of the gulf club?
What would they say, down at the nightclub?
Here's what they'd say at Guido's Steak House
The moment we were seen:
"Hey! Did you guys know that King Marchan is a queen?"
It's a trick and trap; I'm not takin' the rap
For a crime I didn't do.
I've gotta make certain that he is a she;
If I don't, all my nightmare's to end up true!
There's only one way to find out for sure,
But I haven't got the guts to try. Or have I?
If I'm right, I'll throw a party tonight!
If I'm wrong, I think I'll die!
But yes, I guess I gotta do it!
Hell, there isn't that much to it!
I can't sit here one more minute
Lettin' time go by.
I need to put an end to all this how and why!
I need to know like most guys need an alibi.
I'll go myself! I just can't ask a private eye,
"Is the girl I'm in love with...
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