Signore Pirelli, I am Mr.Sweeney Todd and I have serviced no kings,
Yet I'll wager I can shave a cheek and pull a tooth
with ten times more dexterity than any street mountebank! You see these Razors?
I lay them against five pounds you are no match for me.
You hear this foolish man? Watch and see how he will regret his folly.
will Beadle Bamford be the judge?
Gladly, as always, to oblige my friends and neighbors.
To shave-a da face,
to pull-a da toot,
Require da grace
and not-a da brute
For if you slip and nick-a da skin,
you clip-a da chin
You rip-a da lip a bit
And dats-a da trut!
To shave-a da face
or even a part
Widout it-a smart
require da heart
it takes-a da art
I show you a chrt
I study-a starting in my yout!
To cut-a da hair
To trim-a da beard
To make-a da bristle
Clean as a whistle
dis is from early infancy
Da talent give to me
It take-a da skill
It take-a da brians
It take-a da will
It take-a da Pains
It take-a da pace
It take-a da grace------
The winner is Todd
Sir, I bow to a skill far defter than my own
Mr.Todd. Strange, sir, but it seems your face is know to me
Him? thats a laugh,
him being me uncles cousin and arrived from Birmingham only yesterday.
And yet already I have heard Beadle Bramford spoken of with great respect
Well, sir, I try my best for my neighbors. In fleet street? Above your Pie shop, ma'am?
That's it, sir
Then Mr. Todd, you shall surely see me there before the week is out.
You will be welcome, Beadle Bramford, and I guarantee to give you,
without a penny's charge, the closest shave you will ever know.
[Thanks to sjmurphy for correcting these lyrics]