Never Get Married Lyrics

(Performed by Nancy Opel (Bea) and Ensemble)


(Bea) Do you love me, Jack?
(Jack) Of course I do, Mom
(Bea) Do you love me, Jack?
(Jack) Mom, please-
(Bea) If you love me, Jack..
Then make me a promise
Nothing too grand
One little promise
For Mommy
No, here, take my hand
Never get married
That's all that I ask
(Jack) What?!
(Bea) How can I know that you'll love me forever
Unless I'm sure that you will never get married
(Jack) Mom, c'mon-
(Bea) Only because
No other woman
Would love you
Like your Mommy does
You can just toss me in the Hudson
I'll be food for the fish
But don't ignore a mother's dying w-
(Jack) Mom? Mom! Oh God!
(Bea) Never get married
That's what I said
Sure you'll be laughing,
And dancing,
The second I'm dead
But I will be watching
What else can I do
And if you find some girl and think I'll soften
I'll crawl my way out of the coffin and crush her
Never mind how
So when your Mommy
Says promise
You promise me now
And if you think I might be joking
Just take a look at this nurse
So don't you underestimate
A mother's curse!
No never underestimate
A mother's..
Do you love me, Jack?
(Jack) I-, w-, uh-, W-wow, um..
(Bea) Do you love me, Jack?
(Jack) I do, Mom, I really do
(Bea) If you love me, Jack..
You'll never get
Married!
*Gasp*