Vidiots Lyrics

MIKE TEAVEE
Hey Wonka, if you can send chocolate by TV, could you send a person too?

WONKA
I suppose so, but there might be some technical issues.

OOMPA LOOMPAS
Alas alas poor Mike Teavee
For OMG he's ADD

MIKE TEAVEE
You can't stop progress. I'm doing it!

WONKA
Uh, Mike, no!

OOMPA LOOMPAS
He's like so many nowadays
It's awfully modern this malaise

MIKE TEAVEE
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Mike Teavee TV show!

OOMPA LOOMPAS
For every child that threw a fit
The TV set would babysit

MRS TEAVEE
Mr Wonka, where is he?

WONKA
I'm looking, I'm looking! There's so many channels.

OOMPA LOOMPAS
Attention spans have gone pal-mal
There's only time for LOL

MRS TEAVEE
The little people are singing again. That's never a good sign.

OOMPA LOOMPAS
They never step outside to play
Their world is dark both night and day

MRS TEAVEE
He's jumping from screen to screen.

WONKA
I think it's called channel hopping.

OOMPA LOOMPAS
The skies of blue, the pinks and greens
Are only viewed on laptop screens

MRS TEAVEE
Get him out of there!

MIKE TEAVEE
I'm on TV! Look at me! Look at me!

OOMPA LOOMPAS
They only move and exercise

MRS TEAVEE
What's happened to him?

OOMPA LOOMPAS
Their clicking finger and their thumb

WONKA
He's shrunk to fit the screen.

OOMPA LOOMPAS
Each brain cell overloads and dies

CHARLIE BUCKET
Will he ever go back to normal?

OOMPA LOOMPAS
As all their limbs are turning numb

WONKA
No one ever goes back to normal after they've been on television.

OOMPA LOOMPAS
Vidiots
They're just vidiots

The age of innocence is gone
When certain sites are clicked upon
The images that they repeat
Once in their brain you can't delete
And then like some barbaric Huns
Our toddlers all are packing guns
And children curse and smoke cigars
Our nurseries now have prison bars

They scream and rant and raise their fists
And fire their psychiatrists
We hear them all the teenage hordes
They scream their battle cry "WE'RE BORED!"!
Their minds will surely turn to mush
With words that make an ex-con blush
They never mind their Ps and Qs
They long for piercings and tattoos
Vidiots
They're just vidiots

WONKA
It's years since I've been to a rave!

OOMPA LOOMPAS
With all this info at a click
A book will rot upon the shelf
If all the answers come too quick
A child won't think for himself
Each day they text on their new toy
Their thoughts and their location
But OMG will this destroy
The art of conversation?

So sing the story Mrs. T.
What's now become of Mike Teevee

MRS TEAVEE
For wasting his entire brain!

OOMPA LOOMPAS
He's stuck inside his own domain
He'll channel surf till where upon
He'll find that nothing good is on

MRS TEAVEE
And there is no remote control

OOMPA LOOMPAS
That he can use to find his soul
His secrets now are yours and mine
'Cause everything he's got online

MRS TEAVEE
And who will watch just Mike Teevee

OOMPA LOOMPAS
When there is newer junk to see
What once was viral soon forgot

MRS TEAVEE
But hand the clicker to his mom

OOMPA LOOMPAS
His future's not completely shot
His new address is Mike.com

Vidiots
They're just vidiots
Vidiots
They're just vidiots
They're just vidiots