We Won the Talent Show Lyrics by Sarah Silverman, Laura Silverman, & Bob's Burgers

(Sarah Silverman, Laura Silverman, & Bob's Burgers)

[Emcee:]
Hello, alumni of Cardinal Gennaro High! I hope everyone's having a good time! And if you're not, I'd like to see you organize something on this budget! In this timeframe! It's been really hard!
[Linda:]
All right! We're about to go on! So, setlist! We'll start with "We're the Ta Tas", and then we'll go right into "You Were All Wrong About Us", and then "Oh Boy You All Got So Fat"—
[Gayle:]
And then my song?
[Linda:]
Yeah yeah yeah, if we have time. Everybody ready? Feel pumped? Do you feel pumped?
[Musician:]
I feel bloated.
[Linda:]
Good! Use it!
[Emcee:]
So yeah. Divorce is hard. But you know what? Ya get up in the morning and you— What? (gasps) Oh my goodness! Recent developments to announce! We thought they couldn't come, but they're here! Our very own Bad Hair Day!!
[Bob:]
What?
[Linda:]
Gah!
[Lead Singer:]
We're back where we started! It's like the talent show all over again, huh?! First place, took home the gold! And then our next gold WAS A GOLD RECORD!
[Lead Guitarist:]
(laughs)

[Lead Singer:]
Got a Ph. D. in rock and roll!
Got an Honorary Doctorate in never gettin' old!
My day job is stayin' up all night!
My hobby is bein' impolite!
My memory is my guitar!
My friends are all my seven cars!
I've done home runs with all my aunts!
I've never had a menstrual cramp!

[Lead Singer and Lead Guitarist:]
But, yeah, life's so great!
We made lots of dough!
We sleep all day!
[Lead Singer:]
Cuz we won the talent show!

Got a G.E.D. in bein' mean!
Lookin' at my horse and makin' it rain!
My Bachelor's in breakin' stuff!
My Associate's in talkin' tough!
I've never had to change my pants!
I've never moisturized my hands!
[indistinct] 101!
I went on a mountain in Vermont!

Thank you, little people! We're not gonna stay and mingle!
(Lead Guitarist): Good night!

[Lead Singer:]
Woo! Good luck, Taters!
[Linda:]
Ta Tas!
[Lead Singer:]
Right right right.