The Nice-Capades Lyrics by Eugene Mirman, Dan Mintz, Kristen Schaal, John Roberts, H. Jon Benjamin, Larry Murphy, & Bob's Burgers

(Eugene Mirman, Dan Mintz, Kristen Schaal, John Roberts, H. Jon Benjamin, Larry Murphy, & Bob's Burgers)

[Louise:]
Hello! This year was a banner year for us Belcher kids! We did so many nice things! Too many to list! So we're going to sing them to you! Take it away, Gene, my brother!
[Gene:]
I did a buncha nice things this year, but one in particular comes to mind.

Taco Tuesday was the day at school
A day that always makes me drool
But when only one taco was left
I said "Rudy, friend, you take the rest"

But the only thing left to eat
Was nuggets from the deep, deep freeze

And then those reheated evil nuggets got mad and turned into an angry tornado! Oooh!
[Linda:]
I made those nugget costumes. I made 'em a few hours ago, no big deal.
[Gene:]
So I did what I had to do to save the world.

I ate the nuggets
I ate the evil nuggets, yeah!
I ate the nuggets
The evil, evil nuggets, yeah!

So that's something nice I did. And now I'm gonna hand it off to my handsome sister, Tina!

(applause)

[Tina:]
I kissed my family on all of their cheeks
Then I took a little walk along the beach
A horseshoe crab was on its back
Nearly having a heart attack

I didn't kick it I gently nudged it back into the sea
I didn't kick it, it had all the right number of legs when I left it, yeah

The end.
[Louise:]
Ahem!
[Tina:]
Oh, right.

And then I took it home and fed it, then took care of it and then it went to college and now it's a celebrity chef with all its legs, goodnight.

[Bob:]
(whispering) Lin, this is not going very—
[Linda:]
(whispering) Breathtaking! It's just breathtaking!
[Bob:]
(whispering) Yup. Right. Yeah. That's what I was about to say.
[Tina:]
And now enjoy the stylings of my super-nice sister, Louise.
[Louise:]
Nice job, Tina! I think he bought it!
[Tina:]
I'm just glad it's over. I feel dirty.
[Louise:]
That's the spirit!
[Tina:]
Thank you. Oh.

[Louise:]
I did so many nice things I can barely count 'em
I regrew the rain forest, and lost puppies I found 'em
I gave blankets to cold kids and ice cream to warm kids
Shoes to the shoeless, hair to the hairless
But the nicest thing I did all year...

Uh, nicest thing I did... I... the nicest thing... I did... I... I... I... (sighs)

I can't do this.
[Teddy:]
(panting) What? What are we doin'? Do I still spin around? What do I do?! Oy gevalt.