There's always a woman Lyrics

CORA:
Cherchez la femme.

There's always a woman
to spoil the illusion.
The rotten banana
that ruins the bunch.
There's always a woman
who causes confusion.
There's nothing as low as a woman.
We must lunch.

FAY:
Love to.

CORA:
Noonish?

FAY:
Tomorrow.

CORA:
Today.

FAY:
My place?

CORA:
Mine.

FAY:
There's always a woman.
The one disappointment.
The note that goes sour
and gums up the tune,
The ant at the picnic.
The fly in the ointment.
There's nothing so low as a woman.
Ring me soon!

CORA:
Love to.

FAY:
Au revoir.

CORA:
Leaving?

FAY:
I thought...

CORA:
I know.

FAY:
I tried.

BOTH:
It's always a woman.
The counterfeit check,

FAY:
The snake in the woodpile,

CORA:
The pain in the neck.

BOTH:
The sand in the oyster
that isn't a pearl.
There's nothing as low as a woman...
Darling girl!

CORA:
Pet!

FAY:
Lamb!

CORA:
Dove!

FAY:
Fish.

CORA:
The run in the stocking.
The snag in the zipper.
The weather in London,
the water in France.
It's always a woman.
It's Jacqueline the Ripper.
There's nothing as low as a woman.
Shall we dance?

FAY:
Waltz?

CORA:
Rhumba?

FAY:
Cancan?

CORA:
Tango?

FAY:
Schottische?

CORA:
Gavotte?

FAY:
Cha-cha?

CORA:
Tap?

FAY:
Bolero?

CORA:
Polka?

FAY:
Bridge?

CORA:
Two hearts.

FAY:
Three clubs.

CORA:
I pass.

FAY:
There's always a woman.
A crimp in the writing.
The hole in the sidewalk.
The gum on the shoe.
She almost looks human-
it must be the lighting.
Whatever it is, it's a woman.
How are you?

CORA:
Fine.

FAY:
Pity.

BOTH:
It's always a woman.

FAY:
The hand in the hill.

CORA:
The five dollar diamond.

FAY:
the three-dollar bill.

BOTH:
A genius for trickery
that's second to none.
There's nothing as low as a woman.
Isn't this fun?

CORA:
Lovely.

FAY:
Charming.

CORA:
Delicious.

FAY:
Stunning.

CORA:
Fabulous.

FAY:
Gorgeous.

BOTH:
Exquisite.

CORA:
A knife would be perfect-
FAY:
A gun would be perfect-
CORA:
It's quick and it's quiet.
FAY:
At least I could try it.
CORA:
I hear they do wonders
FAY:
And you can do wonders
CORA:
With poisonous gas.
FAY:
With silvers of glass,
CORA:
There's always the quarry-
FAY:
There's always curare-
CORA:
She'd never be found.
FAY:
I have some around.
CORA:
A noose is efficient-
FAY:
Bamboo is efficient-
CORA:
She won't make a sound.
FAY:
As long as it's ground.
CORA:
Whatever will do it,
FAY:
Whatever will do it,
CORA:
If anything will.
FAY:
If anything will.

BOTH:
There's nothing as low as a woman.

CORA:
Sneak.

FAY:
Thief.

CORA:
Cheat.

FAY:
Crook.

CORA:
Frump.

FAY:
Fake.

CORA:
Bore.

FAY:
Bag.

CORA:
Leech.

FAY:
Crone.

CORA:
Witch.

FAY:
Ghoul.

BOTH:
Police!
Shoot to kill....

[Thanks to tsetatsuj for correcting these lyrics]