Monty Python - Drinking Philosophers Song Lyrics

Immanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrick Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as schloshed as Schloegel.

There's nothin' Nietzsche couldn't teach ya 'bout the raisin' of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.

John Stewart Mill, of his own free will, on half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away; half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram.
Rene Descartes was a drunken fart.