Eminem - Taking My Ball Lyrics

[Intro:]
Hey, man!
Make my... vocal sound... sexy!
Woo!
Come on man!
Come on man!
Okaaaay!

[Chorus:]
It feels so wrong, does it feel so right?
But it's alright! - It's okay with me!
I'll do my steps all by myself,
I don't need no-body to play with me;
But if you just give me a chance,
I can put you in a trance the way I dance!
But don't nobody wanna play with me so,
I'm taking my ball and going home! - Hooome!

[Verse 1:]
I'm that guy man! - Shove a diamond up my hind end,
And crush it with my butt-muscles while I cut vocals.
Slut, poke holes in your shirt jump in mud puddles,
While I stomp mudholes in your ass girl, now let's cuddle!
Blood curdlin', you're gurglin' on your blood, what'll
I do for my next trick? - I'm feeling wonder-ful!
I think I might just do something a little less subtle,
Shove a f*cking Tonka truck up a little kids butthole! (Ooooh!)
Feel the wrath of a psychopath slash Ambassador,
Of the "Valentine's Day Massacre"!
Slash assassin, I slash her in ass with a'
Icicle and leave her in a blood bath while I,
Put a catheter in - and jump in the bath with her,
In my Spider-Man mask just imagine
The fun I can have with a strap on!
Stick it up a Kim Kardashian's ass and make the bitch run a triathlon! (hahaa!)
Are those pistachios? Damn, I'd like to have some,
Layin' on the patio, man rolling a fat one!
Shady drop the magic marker put the cap on,
Goddamn man! Are you that much of an asshole? (ooookay!)

[Chorus]

[Verse 2:]
I'm like Houdini! - Tuck my teeny, eenie-weenie between each
One of my thighs and make it disappear like a genie!
Make this shit disappear like Tara Reid in a bikini, (oooh-hooo!)
Believe me homie! you don't know the meaning of a meanie!
They call me the fruit loop from Jupiter,
I'm tryna maneuver the Hoover up in your poop shoot, don't move, or ya
Might get it stuck so f*ckin' far up in your uvula,
You ain't gonna know what he was tryna do to your gluteus! (whooo, whooo!)
Totally tubular, sniffin' glue through a tube in the studio,
Now who do ya think is more fruitier?
Weenier's smothered in peanut butter, pudding on the "tube" of "your,
Eye shadow and man it looked nice! - You shoulda seen it mother!
I think I'll put a piece of art on my Visa card,
Then I'll go beat Mischa Barton with a Cuisinart!
And mosey on over to Rosie O'Donnell's,
With McDonald's! - Jump in her lap and watch "The Sopranos"! (ooookay!)

[Chorus]

[Verse 3:]
"Shady what are ya doin'? Chewin' on a human? "
Grab an aluminum bat, hit Heidi Klum in the back, boom!
And assumin' the fact that, that dude's in the back room,
Usin' the bathroom, vacuumin' a raccoon!
Skewin' a rat, a cat screwin' a baboon!
You shouldn't ask: "What is he doin' with that broom? "
You should be glad he ain't leave you full of stab wounds,
You in a trance, I'm back doing my dance, ooh!
But they're afraid I might get Sarah Palin by the hair and
Make her wear a bathin' suit and take her parasailin'! (ha-ha!)
Shady what do you gotta pick on the lady for?
Why you make her read eighty-four bed time stories to you in baby talk?
"Cause I'm scared, there's monsters under my bed!
Kelly Pickler hid my juicebox under my bassinet!
No wonder my ass is wet, my diaper needs to be changed,
Do you like graffiti, dyke? Well, I can pee-pee and write your name! " (ooookay!)

[Chorus]

[Outro:]
Fine!
Nobody wants to play with me?
F*ck you then... bitch!
Guys are always mean to me anyways!
All you ever do is rub gum in my hair... stuff!
You guys are going to make me... make sad!
I'm sad!
I'm gonna cry!
I'm crying!
Huhh-huhhh!
I wanna tell my mom!
MOOOOOMMMMMM!